How many days in our life do we find ourselves waiting for something? Waiting to grow up a bit more to put on that gorgeous dress or drive a car, to hear the university entrance exam result, for that phone call from someone special, a job interview, a visa to a foreign country, an engagement ring, or for the labor to start to give birth to the baby…
Waiting can be draining. The longer you wait, the more anxious you might get. I remember after being single for almost my whole 20s, I came to a point being so eager to meet my Mr. Right. Was the waiting ever going be over? How much longer would be enough? I read many books about how to meet the right person, including one titled just as my daily wondering, “Will I ever get married, God?” Every guy I met during that period, I would ask myself and God the same question, “ Is this the one?” I couldn’t enjoy a simple and casual relationship with guys, for I was occupied with finding the “fit” for my “husband seeking agenda” in each one of them. It was, at least to say, exhausting.
Before the waiting time was over, I had enough of my perturbation. I realized, for my own sanity, I needed to change my mentality.
The only way to get over waiting is to see it as not.
I decided, I was going to put my “husband seeking agenda” on the shelf, and enjoy my life as a single woman in her late twenties, approaching her thirties. I was going to get to know new friends as who they are, not whom they might become, women and men alike. I was going to ditch the lies from most Hollywood movies, telling “the perfect and satisfying life only happens after getting married,” or “ you can only be fulfilled and happy when you meet the One.” I wasn’t going to wait any longer. I took my single life as a gift and made the most out of it.
So at the age of 29, instead of sitting around, waiting for my prince charming to come to marry me, I made a big life decision—- I decided to go abroad to study. I left all that’s familiar—-my work, family, and friends, alone, went to a country that speaks a language I didn’t know. I was to be a student again, to learn more about who I was and what I was put on earth to accomplish.
Least did I know, seven years later, I would be still living here—-Switzerland. And French, as one of its four official languages, sounded no longer strange to me. As for how I met my husband later in this country, it would be another blog post to share. The point is I stopped waiting for something I most desired to happen; instead, I embraced that season of life as a gift, living it with purpose. My life moved on beautifully and my desire fulfilled in due time.
Now, I’m in another life waiting room—- for laboring our second child. I’m already 40 weeks and four days pregnant, and it won’t be long before I hold my baby. Sometimes, the tiredness and ache of my body tempt me to be agitated about the waiting. But I remind myself of what I’ve learned—- enjoy this stage as it is and make the most of it. Write, read, and sleep while I can. For very soon, the sweet yet exhausting parent- of-new-born season will come.
It’s in my 37 weeks pregnancy that I joined the one-year Hope*Writers membership, an online community with tons of great resources, an investment for improving my writing skills, and pursuing my dreams. I’d thought about giving birth, the postpartum complications, and my life soon as a mom with a newborn and toddler. Will I have time to write? Should I be waiting for a better time to pursue this writing dream? I prayerfully considered, realizing that life will always be busy, and the “best time” would probably never come. I know there’s more for me than the beautiful job as a mom, and the same God who has provided for me to do good works through my single years will keep providing the strength and time for me to fulfill the purpose of my writing calling. Therefore, instead of waiting any longer, I took a leap of faith and joined the membership, just like I said yes to the opportunity to study in Switzerland, seven years ago.
In the Book of Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, it says,
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”
Any waiting time is not time being stopped or life being held back. It depends on how we perceive and choose to live in that period; amazing things can happen. We will always find crossroads or transitions in life, and we can’t always fathom what God’s doing in a bigger scope. However, even if it’s not for making a big decision as I did, we can still take advantage of any in-between time, to learn, to create, and to serve one more need just in front of us.